Matthew 14:13-21

Jesus and most of his disciples sat in a group, waiting as the people gathered. Jesus could go nowhere without being followed, but this was not yet a crowd.

“There’s Andrew,” Peter announced. “He’s in an awful hurry.” He had been in town, but he came running to the group.

Head bowed, tears on his face, he approached Jesus. “Herod killed John,” he told them.

Everyone turned to him, eyes wide. They listened in silence as Andrew explained how the daughter of Herodias had danced at Herod’s party, and he promised to give her whatever she wanted. She left, but when she came back, she asked for the head of John the Baptist.

Andrew could go no farther, but the others knew the result. No one spoke. Peter put his arm around his brother. Andrew had been a disciple of John. Some of the other disciples huddled around Andrew, and others surrounded Jesus. John had started Jesus’ ministry at the Jordan River by baptizing him.

For several minutes, no one spoke. Finally Jesus turned and walked away, headed towards the fishing boat on the sea shore. The Twelve followed. A few of them sat at the oars, a couple raised the sail, and they headed for the other shore.

Jesus sat quietly, but pain was etched on his face, pain for the death of John and pain for those he was leaving behind.

He’s praying, thought Matthew. He’s always before chosen to heal the people’s pain, but this time his own is too great. He needs to get away, to rest, to pray away his own pain.

Matthew looked around at the other disciples. We’re all praying for him.

When they reached the other side of the lake, they were not alone. People came from the villages on that side, but some followed from the first crowd. They found boats and crossed the lake. As the day wore on, others straggled in on foot. They would not be left behind.

Jesus pinched his lips together, clenched his jaw, and, for a brief moment, turned his back. After a deep sigh, he worked his way through the crowd, healing those who were sick. When he found no more, he faced the crowd and taught about the Kingdom of Heaven, like a mustard seed, leaven in bread dough, a treasure of great price worth exchanging for all one had.

Matthew sat nearby with the other disciples. Even after the months he had been with them, the tax collector did not entirely feel a part of them. His background was different. He was not accustomed to walking all day, to being dirty at night, to rubbing shoulders with fishermen and common folks.

The sun reached its peak and began its descent. As it approached the horizon, Matthew and a couple others stepped over to Jesus. “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

Those Jesus had healed sat at his feet. They gasped as they heard Jesus say, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

Wide-eyed, Matthew looked out at the gathered crowd, then back at the small basket Philip held. “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish.”

Jesus reached for the basket. “Bring them here to me.”

Holding the basket, Jesus spoke to the people around them. “Everyone sit down, please.”

When they were seated, he blessed the contents of the basket and broke the loaves into smaller pieces. James and John ran down to the fishing boat and brought back baskets they would have used to collect the fish they caught. The disciples then spread out among the people with the little amount of food they had.

Matthew again looked at the crowd and the few pieces of fish and bread in his basket. He approached a group of people and offered them what he had. To his surprise, they were already sharing food some had brought. He contributed some fish and moved on to the next group, where the same thing happened.

When he reached the fifth group, they greeted him.

“Good evening, master.”

He stopped before offering his food. These were his servants, the servants from his house, the ones who served him food. The master does not serve his servants. What should he do?

He glanced over at Thomas not far away. Maybe they could trade places.

He turned to look at Jesus, who appeared to be watching him. What did Jesus expect him to do?

Matthew looked down at his clothes, what he had worn the day Jesus called him away from his tax booth. Dirty, not quite ragged, but the hem of his fine robe was torn. His expensive sandals barely clung to his dust-covered feet. A slit in his left sleeve reminded him of the rock he had fallen on. Jesus had healed the gash in his arm, but not the tear in his sleeve.

His servants, on the other hand, must have come across in a boat. They did look like they’d been sitting in the sun on the ground all day, but their clothes were not torn. They certainly appeared to be in better shape than he was.

Still, he was the master, and the master does not serve the servants. He could feel their eyes on him and he saw the hesitation on their faces. They too must be wondering what he would do.

What will happen if I serve them like I served the others? Then when I go home, will they serve me? Will they treat me like the master? Or like a fellow servant? 

Again he looked back at Jesus for guidance. Did Jesus know what he was thinking? Did Jesus understand his problem? If Jesus were in his sandals, what would he do?

Jesus’ hand reached out in a forward motion. What did he mean?

Matthew didn’t read lips, but he thought he could saw “Go ahead” coming from Jesus’ mouth.

So he did. He reached down with his basket and offered the fish and bread to his servants. He, the master, served those who waited on him. He still wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He could see the surprise on their faces. He considered himself a kind master. He didn’t beat his slaves, like some did, but he made sure they obeyed him. How would that continue?

As he backed away from this group, he saw the smiles on their faces. What were they thinking? What would they do when he returned home? Or would he return home? How long would he follow Jesus?

He exhaled deeply as he moved on to the next group. It was easier to serve strangers.

But after offering his basket of bread and fish to two more groups, he hesitated again. The men in this group were other tax collectors. What were they doing here?

“Shalom, Matthew,” Samuel said. “We wondered where you had gone. You just disappeared.” He did not speak in a voice that condemned, but he did not smile.

Expressions on the other faces varied from a frown on Joseph’s face to no expression from Benjamin. Only David’s face seemed to approve of what Matthew was doing.

Matthew would have backed away, but he did not see that any of the men had anything to eat. And Samuel was reaching for the basket.

Matthew offered the basket to each man. They each took something, a couple pieces of bread and a couple pieces of fish, and offered the appropriate prayer of thanksgiving.

What will I say to any of them when I see them again? Will I see them again? Will they still consider me a tax collector? Am I?

As he moved on to the next group, he saw only one piece of fish left in his basket.

But his discomfort was not over. Pharisees! And like his fellow — if they still were — tax collectors, they appeared not to have brought any food with them. Is it only the peasants who think ahead?

As the men recognized him, they reacted first with surprise and then, maybe the expression wasn’t a sneer, but it was at least a frown. And Matthew’s reaction was not particularly friendly.

“I never expected to see a tax collector serving others,” one of them said.

Matthew wanted to reply, “And I never expected to serve you,” but he could feel Jesus still watching him. He didn’t have to look to see that.

Instead, he said nothing but offered the basket, which now had several pieces of bread and fish.

After they had each taken something from his basket, Matthew said quietly, “Jesus doesn’t want anyone to leave hungry.”

As he looked up, he saw no groups in front of him. He joined Philip and Bartholomew behind the crowd. When he turned to the front, Jesus was smiling.

Shortly thereafter, Jesus dismissed the crowd. The disciples gathered up the leftovers, filling twelve baskets.

The mustard seed, thought Matthew. The leaven in the bread dough. A small beginning, but more than enough. And leaving my tax booth was a fair exchange for the joy of following Jesus.

For consideration:

General questions:

1) How does this story follow its Scripture?

2) How does this story expand its Scripture for you?

3) What is the message of this story?

4) How does the message apply to us today?

Specific questions:

5) Even if only a few people had gathered, would Jesus have left them behind? The scripture does not mention people when Jesus headed for a deserted place.

6) In Mark and Luke, the disciples are tired from their mission to proclaim the Kingdom of God, so Jesus takes them away to rest. In the Gospel of John, Jesus withdraws because the people want to make him king. The Gospel of Matthew does not connect Jesus to John the Baptist as cousins in its birth narrative. Why would Jesus grieve at John’s death so much that he turns away from the crowds who have come to him, heading for a deserted place?

7) If you had been one of Matthew’s servants, how would you have reacted to him serving you?

8) Do you think Matthew ever went back to his home with his family and his servants?